When your wife, while at a vigil in your honor, finds out that you have a mistress. Who is, for the record, also there waiting for you to get out. 

“Uh, guys, I’m good. Just send down some more cookies, will you?”

thedailywhat:

After Hours: Happy 9/02/10 Day!

That this isn’t a national holiday is nothing short of a travesty.

(inb4 American dates are weird-looking.)

[interweber / ariaana.]

OMG! It is the greatest holiday in the history of holidays. 
Dylan McKay, this one goes out to you.  

GPOYW: Last Friday with boy, visiting the towns near where he lives, in the middle of nowhere.  

I am on a really hard trip in Florida with my family.  Not that you were wondering, but just. in. case. 

Think good thoughts for me.  

danhacker:

Brandon Flowers (Feat. Jenny Lewis) | Hard Enough 

This album cant come out soon enough.

I hate packing. Hate packing. Hate, hate, hate.  Hate it. 

Ps. Guess what I am doing right now?  

yahoonews:

(via today)

This is fairly brillz.

This Rain Harvesting Garden Table is a crafty way to catch your rain water. Water that lands on the table is channeled into the under-table tank. 

(via Treehugger)

List of 30 things to do in 30 days update?  Number 29: Take a leap of faith-Check.

My heart has been closed off for a long time.  All I can say is that last night I opened it up.  On this one, that is all the detail you get.  But it felt amazing, and I am happy and smiling ear-to-ear today.

So far, so good.

azspot:

David Horsey

In 30 days, I turn 30 years old.  That is not an easy thing for me to say, let alone do.   So I decided, instead of doing a huge celebration, I am going to do a 30 day commemoration of my 20s. 

In the next 30 days (almost 29) I am going to do the following 30 things.  The last great experiences of this beautiful disaster of a decade of my life.

I will, of course, blog them.  Hi, we’ve met.

My 30 things are as follows:

1.  Confront a fear.  I am not sure which just yet. 
2.  Visit City Lights book store. Because I live an hour and a half away, and have never been. And for someone who has a Kerouac quote tattooed on my body, that seems just silly. 
3.  Take a Road Trip with the girls. This one I have done many times, but one last road trip sounded necessary.  Time and money constraints mean that we will be driving to nowhere, and probably just for a day, but really, does it matter? 
4.  Go 24 Hours Media Free. Internet, Tv, Radio. No tweeting from the phone or anything.  I don’t have cable, so the TV is fine, but no internet? *I can do this* 
5. Learn to drive a stick shift.  I know, I know.  No, I do not know how .  I was not good at it when I was young and I’m not that into things I’m not good at it. Sh.
6. Go see a movie alone.  
7. A random act of kindness.  
8. Plan a trip to Paris.  Boy and I are going in January.  Since “go to Paris” is on most people’s list, and I’m just going to miss it, I figured that planning it should count. 
9. Dig up something new about my family history. 
10. Start learning French. For Paris, obvs. 
11. Have dad teach me the guitar chords
12. Use a whole role of Duct tape in one day.  Just because. 
13. Launch my website.  For a business I am working on. 
14. Get a check-up.  And either start 30 with a clean bill of health, or at least some answers to lingering questions. Included-getting the glasses I need. 
15. Get my passport.  Again, for Paris.  No, I don’t have my passport. Again. Shush it. 
16. Learn a magic trick. 
17. Try archery. 
18. Submit something I’ve written for publication.  I’ve done this before, but have been told it is time for me to do it again. 
19. Put a message in a bottle and throw it out to sea.  I’ll be in Tampa next week, so there’s a chance my bottle will get stuck in the oil, but I’ll give it a shot anyway. 
20. Fully celebrate September 13-Defy Superstition Day.  Did you know that was a day?  I grew up with a lot of superstitions, so this might be a challenge for me. 
21. Learn an awesome new party joke. And tell it well. 
22. Go through my house and purge anything old and unneeded.  My life needs this. 
23. Find and create my signature potluck/barbecue/party meal. 
24. Start a gratitude journal 
25. Reach my “I’m turning 30 and going to feel good about myself goal weight.”
26. Study the constellations.  
27. Spend one afternoon doing only things that made me happy as a child.  Parks, popsicles, puppies…you get the idea.  
28. Take my dad fishing 
29. Take a leap of faith.  Watch out for this one, it might be big. 
30. Make a new list of 30 things…to do in my 30s. 

(via chemicalfreeskinny)

Well, I’m screwed.  *Throwing hands up in the air* You can’t eat anything. 

This weekend’s music obsession: Mumford and Sons, Little Lion Man 

ohyeahfacts:

(The Book of Useless Information)

Not really okay, guys.